The most challenging part about YouTubing where I keep getting stuck again and again is choosing the next video idea. Once a video idea is decided upon, writing the script, shooting, and editing all flow in a straightforward fashion.

The kicker is that my ideas page is not blank. I have written quite a long list of video ideas. The problem is that I don’t feel like making any of those videos right now. There have been times when one of my old ideas became my next video, but it hasn’t happened often. Something that felt like a good idea at the time often fizzles out and I lose interest.

There have been a couple of tips that helped:

1. Document, don’t create.
2. Share what you love.

This post is born from the first advice. Document your journey instead of “creating”. There’s a limit to how much that helps because if you’re constantly stuck with ideas then there’s not much to document. Sharing what you love is a good tip because as you consume content you can share it right back.

In terms of creativity, I’ve heard two conflicting pieces of advice:

• Consume a lot of content to find out what to talk about next
• Consume less content and focus more on introspection

Both points seem to be valid. Consuming content can give you that next idea while consuming no content can allow things in your mind to bubble up. I guess it’s about finding a healthy balance of content consumption.

If I ever crack the code of never being stuck with choosing the next video idea, I’ll share it in a future post. For now, it seems like this is going to be a continual struggle for the time being.

"Programming is not for everyone. You either have it or you don't, and YOU should not do it because you don't like it," my friend Jake told me. He's doing a Ph.D. in Computer Science. He got into programming in the 3rd grade when he wanted to hack things. He tried quitting programming and doing something else but he always ended up coming back to it. I guess he "has it," in his words.

A year ago, I started learning web development online on free code camp to try and make a career out of it. My friend Conor, who used to be a library technician, started learning web development online for free using the Odin Project, and a year later he got hired at a startup. I thought, "If he can do it, so can I."

Fast forward a year to today. I've finished the HTML and CSS portion on free code camp but haven't even gotten to the projects section of JavaScript. I was struggling with the intermediate algorithm scripting exercises and dreading the projects, which were described as "similar (to the exercises) just much more difficult."

Why had I made such little progress in a year? You could say lack of discipline. Each time I had to force myself to sit down and code. I only did it a little bit at a time.

Recently I reconnected with an old elementary school friend from Korea. When she found out I'm learning programming, she told me to find something less stressful that I enjoy more. She said she's seen friends who got a job in that field after forcing themselves through school, but it wasn't a good fit, so they ended up quitting and doing something else. This got me questioning myself.

I reached out to a web developer friend who recently got fired during a massive layoff. She said, "There are many awesome roles in the IT field, but it is a highly competitive market. Everyone can join with low barriers of entry. You have to learn things after work since the framework changes every 2-3 years. Working in IT means you have to work over 40 hours (people will tell you that you can have work life balance but it is not true; they spend weekends studying) and you gotta do it for 30 years. It is especially stressful debugging when you can't find help from colleagues or stack overflow. Layoffs can come every few years."

This reminded me of Jim Carrey's dad, who went into accounting to pay the bills but got fired one day.

“I learned many great lessons from my father–not the least of which is that you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” - Jim Carrey

So what else could I do if I'm going to give up programming? The only thing that comes to mind is video editing. I only know the barebones as I am self-taught and just use the bare minimum to make videos myself.

I recently got paid to do video editing for a friend, and it was doable. Not frustrating or stressful, like I find programming. I could learn to be a better video editor and get a job doing that.

So I've made up my mind. Ditch programming and get into video editing. I wish I would have made this decision a year sooner, but better now than later.